I posted this last year. Focus on big issues. I must remind myself constantly.
This was written by a woman who was at that time, not able to see any light at the end of the tunnel and struggled with a host of money, health issues and fighting to finish her PhD. I shall never forget that part of my life. Never, ever.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Post thesis submission malady
After 1/2 decade of slogging it out and centering your life on "the thesis", you realise that you are now suddenly defenseless without it (defense is not over yet! They still have not inform me when it will be conducted) .
No. You no longer can no longer say:
No. You no longer can no longer say:
"Sorry. I have to do my thesis"
(Probably the most important sounding phrase I have ever used in my life. Add "phD" in front of thesis if the bugger pester you too much)
"...alright. AFTER I finished that darn dissertation..."
" My thesis is getting me crazy!"
(therefore, leave me alone, and don't ask me to clean up the house!)
"I am concentrating on writing my thesis first...."
(In response to the forever annoying "how many papers have you published?", usually asked my smart aleck first years who will have a taste of their bitter medicine a few years later)
(Probably the most important sounding phrase I have ever used in my life. Add "phD" in front of thesis if the bugger pester you too much)
"...alright. AFTER I finished that darn dissertation..."
" My thesis is getting me crazy!"
(therefore, leave me alone, and don't ask me to clean up the house!)
"I am concentrating on writing my thesis first...."
(In response to the forever annoying "how many papers have you published?", usually asked my smart aleck first years who will have a taste of their bitter medicine a few years later)
I am going through separation anxiety and all. I am enjoying the freedom so much that I don't even feel like writing up the papers.....and yet, I feel so terribly bored!!
Monday, December 25, 2006
Special Christmas
This is the first ever Christmas, which is celebrated as a NON-PHD student!!
The feeling is great. You could eat, sleep, do whatever you want and not feel a single ounce of guilt. I feel so liberated once my PhD thesis was submitted. That was about one month ago.
Now I am sort of like looking forward to my defense/oral examination.
The feeling is great. You could eat, sleep, do whatever you want and not feel a single ounce of guilt. I feel so liberated once my PhD thesis was submitted. That was about one month ago.
Now I am sort of like looking forward to my defense/oral examination.
Monday, July 24, 2006
Biting your teeth
signs of submission date getting nearer...
and then you realised you forgot to put the milk in the fridge... stale milk now...
- you are biting your teeth while both awake, or asleep, or even while listening to another family member telling a lame joke
- frown lines getting deeper
- you go down to the cosmetic counter and emptied your wallet/bank whatever to get a pot of anti-aging cream, and suprised the sales girl with your actual age..
- ops, another grey hair. Darn.
- you flip through the TV section of the newspaper.... for the third time of the day
- you walked all the way to get a newspaper, on the pretext of keeping up with the developments of Israel vs Lebanon
- You wonder why Israel is not dropping a bomb here, or why this darned country does not join in the fight...
- You claim your free gifts from your bank.
and then you realised you forgot to put the milk in the fridge... stale milk now...
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Piling higher and getting deeper
Pilling higher: papers that need to be read
Thesis chapters that need to be rewritten
Getting Deeper: My understanding and misunderstanding of SPSS.
My love for phdcomics.com.
From an occasional visitor, I am now a suscriber. Awww!!! and now they want to start a forum. If the average length of completing a phd is getting longer, there might be a PhD topic of how Piled Higher and Deeper contributed to this. And then there will be a debate about it...and then yes! We create a new journal. Called the Journal of the Study on PhD studies. Then we will all be able to collect "scientific" data about the motivation, habits, difficulties, etc etc experienced by PhD students. Lets make this a peer-reviewed journal, so that we can all claim to have published in a peer reviewed journal.
Hahaha. What rubbish-y thoughts. Another procrastination tactic....... hmmm I am getting more savvy with age.
Thesis chapters that need to be rewritten
Getting Deeper: My understanding and misunderstanding of SPSS.
My love for phdcomics.com.
From an occasional visitor, I am now a suscriber. Awww!!! and now they want to start a forum. If the average length of completing a phd is getting longer, there might be a PhD topic of how Piled Higher and Deeper contributed to this. And then there will be a debate about it...and then yes! We create a new journal. Called the Journal of the Study on PhD studies. Then we will all be able to collect "scientific" data about the motivation, habits, difficulties, etc etc experienced by PhD students. Lets make this a peer-reviewed journal, so that we can all claim to have published in a peer reviewed journal.
Hahaha. What rubbish-y thoughts. Another procrastination tactic....... hmmm I am getting more savvy with age.
Totally honest, yet Offered a job!!!
I am just offered a job.
It started with JOanne finding a job with a MNC, a very difficult to get position.
And then I thought, if Joanne could do it, so could I??? Joanne is younger and has a longer "list" than me, yet she managed, somehow. Wow. Maybe what the Chinese say is true, Heaven will not give man a deadend. Well, heck, just give it a try.
I had wanted to hide about my condition. But my experience tells me, no point doing so. If you get into a company who thinks that people like me are parasites, and wouldn't want to acknowledge my limitations and yet at the same time see my potential, I will go no where.
I need a boss, and a company who accepts me as I am, "lovely bone", foggy brains and all.
Yet, I was called up. They said they liked me!! Can you believe it?? They are willing to let me have a short contract for a try.
I liked my potential bosses too. My instinct told me that they are really really kind people, just like my thesis supervisor and my phd committee. With these people, I thrive.
Wish me luck. Please with me luck.
One up for fibromites.
And three cheers for people like my bosses. Heavens sent them to me, I believe.
But I should also let you know a little secret, seeking out these angels are hardwork. ANd I worked hard at it.
Things dont come easily for people like us. Just got to hang on, work hard, and if shit comes to you, think about that donkey!!
It started with JOanne finding a job with a MNC, a very difficult to get position.
And then I thought, if Joanne could do it, so could I??? Joanne is younger and has a longer "list" than me, yet she managed, somehow. Wow. Maybe what the Chinese say is true, Heaven will not give man a deadend. Well, heck, just give it a try.
I had wanted to hide about my condition. But my experience tells me, no point doing so. If you get into a company who thinks that people like me are parasites, and wouldn't want to acknowledge my limitations and yet at the same time see my potential, I will go no where.
I need a boss, and a company who accepts me as I am, "lovely bone", foggy brains and all.
Yet, I was called up. They said they liked me!! Can you believe it?? They are willing to let me have a short contract for a try.
I liked my potential bosses too. My instinct told me that they are really really kind people, just like my thesis supervisor and my phd committee. With these people, I thrive.
Wish me luck. Please with me luck.
One up for fibromites.
And three cheers for people like my bosses. Heavens sent them to me, I believe.
But I should also let you know a little secret, seeking out these angels are hardwork. ANd I worked hard at it.
Things dont come easily for people like us. Just got to hang on, work hard, and if shit comes to you, think about that donkey!!
Thursday, June 29, 2006
The Ness Foundation: PhD studentships
The Ness Foundation: PhD studentships
Great, someone is giving money to do research about ME or CFS!
Great, someone is giving money to do research about ME or CFS!
The Ness Foundation is seeking candidates for a postdoctoral fellow (1) and for PhD studentships (4) working on the following areas:
- Genetic association between type 2 diabetes and schizophrenia
- Genetic basis of the abnormal niacin flush in schizophrenia
- Investigation of endophenotypes of schizophrenia
- Search for a gene for abnormalities of the phospholipid metabolism pathway in schizophrenia
- Genetic basis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (ME)
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
PHD student's etiquette
This should be posted on every PHD GRAD cubicle, and in front of my house, so that relatives/friends/whatever will not ask the those darned questions!
Will Cecilia make it into a T-Shirt, please?
The cure to procrastination?
Applying for a job
There I go again... busy with job applications.
If I could, I would wait, but I can't.
May-July is the job application seasion for post-docs. And you have to catch this season, or you got to wait till next year before more posts are available.
It is quite depressive to see the number of jobs on offered, vs the number of people I KNOW are applying fora similar job. Just counting the number of people I know from the same field who are going for the same jobs as I do vs the number of jobs advertised is enough to depress you!!!
But I wouldnt want to let that happen. Instead, I use a Google diary just to organise that, application dates etc.
My strategy is to publish, publish and publish, and delay sending in applications until more stuff are accepted or published.
All these stress is no good for my RA, they are flaring up now. But would I have any other choice?
Technorati Tags:
PhD
academic
thesis
If I could, I would wait, but I can't.
May-July is the job application seasion for post-docs. And you have to catch this season, or you got to wait till next year before more posts are available.
It is quite depressive to see the number of jobs on offered, vs the number of people I KNOW are applying fora similar job. Just counting the number of people I know from the same field who are going for the same jobs as I do vs the number of jobs advertised is enough to depress you!!!
But I wouldnt want to let that happen. Instead, I use a Google diary just to organise that, application dates etc.
My strategy is to publish, publish and publish, and delay sending in applications until more stuff are accepted or published.
All these stress is no good for my RA, they are flaring up now. But would I have any other choice?
Technorati Tags:
PhD
academic
thesis
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
FREAKonomics...let me tell you the REAL incentive to buy and read it.....
I read the book in one sitting, and I am no Matilda or speed reader. That shows how "light" it is.
Many of the concepts are stuff which we might have pondered about or debated with our friends or family members over dinner, with little proof to support.
The swimming pool thing is a no-brainer.I know my mum knew it all along, and she does not even read books!
The abortion thing sheds new light, with facts to back up the arguments, and conspiracy theorists who are anti-abortion will have a field day finding loop holes in it.
The KKK thing is nothing new. It is all about information gaps.
The Crack thing? Well, just, watch some Hong Kong films, and you will understand the it better than you read the book. I think the often maligned HK film industry seems to be able to paint a clearer picture.
If there is something in this book that makes worth while to part with your money, it is the parenting section! Why?
a) You will feel enlightened enough to not buy a second book on parenting
b) You will stop spending sleepless nights conjuring a "unicque" name for your child.
c) Stop being obsessed about being a good parent, start being a good person!
d) No more rushing back/ stop watching that world cup game JUST to read bedtime stories!
And if someone were to disagree with you, just cite that HARVARD-MIT educated PROFESSOR!
With those incentives, what are you waiting for? Grab the book!
Many of the concepts are stuff which we might have pondered about or debated with our friends or family members over dinner, with little proof to support.
The swimming pool thing is a no-brainer.I know my mum knew it all along, and she does not even read books!
The abortion thing sheds new light, with facts to back up the arguments, and conspiracy theorists who are anti-abortion will have a field day finding loop holes in it.
The KKK thing is nothing new. It is all about information gaps.
The Crack thing? Well, just, watch some Hong Kong films, and you will understand the it better than you read the book. I think the often maligned HK film industry seems to be able to paint a clearer picture.
If there is something in this book that makes worth while to part with your money, it is the parenting section! Why?
a) You will feel enlightened enough to not buy a second book on parenting
b) You will stop spending sleepless nights conjuring a "unicque" name for your child.
c) Stop being obsessed about being a good parent, start being a good person!
d) No more rushing back/ stop watching that world cup game JUST to read bedtime stories!
And if someone were to disagree with you, just cite that HARVARD-MIT educated PROFESSOR!
With those incentives, what are you waiting for? Grab the book!
Saturday, June 17, 2006
What Ph.D. students really have to fear!
What Ph.D. students really have to fear: By Joel Waldfogel
Yeah, stop worrying about when you are going to finish your thesis, and start researching on when is the next upturn of the job market, and then time your PHD completion to coincide with it. ... that is why I am blogging and not writting!
Graduate students tend to be paranoid about aspects of their careers that are largely under their control: Will I ever finish my studies? Will I sufficiently impress my adviser? But if new research for academic economists holds up, students should also be freaked out by a factor they can do nothing about: the strength of the job market at the precise time they enter it.
Yeah, stop worrying about when you are going to finish your thesis, and start researching on when is the next upturn of the job market, and then time your PHD completion to coincide with it. ... that is why I am blogging and not writting!
Friday, June 16, 2006
What happened to those PHD holders'? A grim story
Changing Career Paths of Young Scholars in the United States: Example of the Life Sciences :An interesting presentation by economist Paula Stephan showing a restructuring of careers for young life scientists.
Look at that Power Point presentation, yeah, go through it, if you are worth your salt as a PhD candidate....and then... see your future looking more and more grim. This is what I dont need to read when I am trying to finish a thesis!Saturday, June 10, 2006
When should you start looking for a post-doctorare or job?
When you you start looking for a job?
After you submit your first draft? Before it? Or after you have submitted your final draft?
Work does not come in a constant stream, with most posts opening with the new semesters.
So, that got to be factored in!
After you submit your first draft? Before it? Or after you have submitted your final draft?
Work does not come in a constant stream, with most posts opening with the new semesters.
So, that got to be factored in!
Friday, June 09, 2006
Using Microsoft Word template for thesis writing.
Has anyone told you about preparing a template for your thesis? Anyone told you about what software(s) to use to write your thesis at all?
Chances are you have asked, and you had one of the following answers:
Don’t use Microsoft Word, use Latex
The school has a template, go and download it at a certain website
Don’t worry about it! By the time you are ready to write, you will know what to use!
You have to start worrying about it, and not wait till you have done your drafts and at the stage of formatting it for submission. Getting the thesis submission ready is very time consuming, especially if you have many chapters, references, figures, tables appendixes.
I have even seen people writing each chapter in a separate document, after failing to “number” them correctly. But that won’t easil
If you could start early, make a template and save it under document templates. This is something that you could use not only for the thesis, but also your submissions etc.
Technorati Tags:
fibromyalgia, PhD, research, Chronic illness , chronic pain
Monday, May 29, 2006
Should you publish before you submit your thesis?
Should you publish in peer-reviewed journals even before you submit your thesis?
This is a question that most of us will deal with, at the beginning of the candidature, in the middle stages and when we are writing up. Of course, many a phd candidate start with dreaming of publishing in Nature or Lancet even even before graduating, and realised soon enough that publishing is not so easy peasy, unless you are in a very established research team with a track record in publishing. Otherwise, you would find this a long long trek.
One thing that all of us have to understand, at one point or another the requirements to pass your phD in your institutions. I heard of people graduating even when nothing is published in a peer reviewed journal. The "publishing" was only done as a form of poster presentation in a conference, or submitting a paper to a conference. Does that count as "published" by your supervisor, institution and examiner?
I belong to the unlucky group. In our area, in my university, you got to publish. No no no, international conferences are not counted, so are your abstracts and presentations. YOu got to get it done in a peer-reviewed journal, and that is a very very time consuming process.
This is a question that most of us will deal with, at the beginning of the candidature, in the middle stages and when we are writing up. Of course, many a phd candidate start with dreaming of publishing in Nature or Lancet even even before graduating, and realised soon enough that publishing is not so easy peasy, unless you are in a very established research team with a track record in publishing. Otherwise, you would find this a long long trek.
One thing that all of us have to understand, at one point or another the requirements to pass your phD in your institutions. I heard of people graduating even when nothing is published in a peer reviewed journal. The "publishing" was only done as a form of poster presentation in a conference, or submitting a paper to a conference. Does that count as "published" by your supervisor, institution and examiner?
I belong to the unlucky group. In our area, in my university, you got to publish. No no no, international conferences are not counted, so are your abstracts and presentations. YOu got to get it done in a peer-reviewed journal, and that is a very very time consuming process.
Sunday, May 28, 2006
My first job application- rejected
I applied for a job from a very reputable institution. Rejected outright!!!
...." I regret to infrom you that you have not been short-listed, as other applicants more closely matched the cirteria specified in the job descriptions. Therefore, we nillnot be taking your applications any further."
This is this first time in my life to get an outright rejection for a job application. I supposed there is always a first, right?
After moments of lost hope (I did noyt have much to start with), I know it is time to get back to work! Work!
...." I regret to infrom you that you have not been short-listed, as other applicants more closely matched the cirteria specified in the job descriptions. Therefore, we nillnot be taking your applications any further."
This is this first time in my life to get an outright rejection for a job application. I supposed there is always a first, right?
After moments of lost hope (I did noyt have much to start with), I know it is time to get back to work! Work!
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The stress of publishing deadlines.
I have just replied to the peer reviewed journal editor regarding some queries in my papers.
This is the second reply within a week, and each query came with a tight deadline. 48 hours or 24 hours. Taking into account the time zone, I only have a few hours to read the mail, and reply to them each time.
As anyone who has dealt with the annoyance (someone is criticising your "baby"), and the stress (you better rectifiy the problems, 'cos the whole world is gonna read it), and the destruction of self confidence (just as you get so happy that your work is accepted, and started to feel that your rubbish does make some sense) would tell you, replying to journals is something that you hate to do, but must do so with the highest degree of priority.
So what is so special about it??
I have fibro-fogs- which will look like "carelessness". Missing anotation here, spelling mistakes there, missing word is a sentence, and not to mention- spelling mistakes!!! Shouldnt all these be solved with using a word processor? You bet. It would be solved if you do not have these fogs that prevent you from seeing the *GLARING* mistakes.
24 hours? 48 hours reply??
Well, that is a lottery. At the time being, I am ok most of them time. But it it comes when I am feeling as fogged a weather warning morning, how am I to respond coherently?? That happened for the thankfully 48 hour deadline. I was so stressed when I received it, as I was really fatigued that day.
So... Am I fit to work?
Yes and no. Yes, if I have someone who could read through my stuff when I am unwell. If I have the flexibility to organise my work. No, if I am in one of those tight deadline environment, and the boss wants everything done yesterday {that describes most post PhD jobs, isnt it??}.
Technorati Tags:
job hunting, fibromyalgia, PhD, research, chronic illness
chronic pain
This is the second reply within a week, and each query came with a tight deadline. 48 hours or 24 hours. Taking into account the time zone, I only have a few hours to read the mail, and reply to them each time.
As anyone who has dealt with the annoyance (someone is criticising your "baby"), and the stress (you better rectifiy the problems, 'cos the whole world is gonna read it), and the destruction of self confidence (just as you get so happy that your work is accepted, and started to feel that your rubbish does make some sense) would tell you, replying to journals is something that you hate to do, but must do so with the highest degree of priority.
So what is so special about it??
I have fibro-fogs- which will look like "carelessness". Missing anotation here, spelling mistakes there, missing word is a sentence, and not to mention- spelling mistakes!!! Shouldnt all these be solved with using a word processor? You bet. It would be solved if you do not have these fogs that prevent you from seeing the *GLARING* mistakes.
24 hours? 48 hours reply??
Well, that is a lottery. At the time being, I am ok most of them time. But it it comes when I am feeling as fogged a weather warning morning, how am I to respond coherently?? That happened for the thankfully 48 hour deadline. I was so stressed when I received it, as I was really fatigued that day.
So... Am I fit to work?
Yes and no. Yes, if I have someone who could read through my stuff when I am unwell. If I have the flexibility to organise my work. No, if I am in one of those tight deadline environment, and the boss wants everything done yesterday {that describes most post PhD jobs, isnt it??}.
Technorati Tags:
job hunting, fibromyalgia, PhD, research, chronic illness
chronic pain
"Prolonged" PhD candidature- what would be the impact?
There are so many view of prolonged candidature- all of them says that it is not a good thing to do, of course, but how exactly will it stop potential employers from hiring you?
What does it say about you, if you take 6 years to get your PhD, while some people seemed to be done in 3 years?
Will having "reasons" such a full-time employment during part of your candidature helps you, or will it convey the message that you bit off more than you could chew.
And if you are like me, you fell ill, how would that impact the whole thing?
How willing are employers to take the risk of hiring you?
These are the questions that you have to ponder, if you did not finish you PHD exactly on time....
Technorati Tags:
fibromyalgia, PhD, research, Chronic illness , chronic pain
What does it say about you, if you take 6 years to get your PhD, while some people seemed to be done in 3 years?
Will having "reasons" such a full-time employment during part of your candidature helps you, or will it convey the message that you bit off more than you could chew.
And if you are like me, you fell ill, how would that impact the whole thing?
How willing are employers to take the risk of hiring you?
These are the questions that you have to ponder, if you did not finish you PHD exactly on time....
Technorati Tags:
fibromyalgia, PhD, research, Chronic illness , chronic pain
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Google Notebook-cant be used off line?
Google Notebook
I was checking the Google FAQ section, and to my disappointment, there is no way you can access it offline!!! That is a bad bad bad.....to PhD students like use who need to hang on to our notebooks all the time!
Despite the misgiving about no offline feature, it did make my life easier today.
I have been using this feature when I tried to view some current literature to write up something simple.
Instead of downloading the pdf copies, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the HTML copy!!Able to grab your quotes make referencing ie quoting and paraphrasing so much easier.
I know that this is not the best notebook around, but it is free.... I guess poor beggars like us cant be choosers.
I wished I had this when I started my PhD. Life is much easier.
Technorati tags:
fibromyalgia,Google Notebook,PhD research,
I was checking the Google FAQ section, and to my disappointment, there is no way you can access it offline!!! That is a bad bad bad.....to PhD students like use who need to hang on to our notebooks all the time!
Despite the misgiving about no offline feature, it did make my life easier today.
I have been using this feature when I tried to view some current literature to write up something simple.
Instead of downloading the pdf copies, for the first time in my life, I enjoyed the HTML copy!!Able to grab your quotes make referencing ie quoting and paraphrasing so much easier.
I know that this is not the best notebook around, but it is free.... I guess poor beggars like us cant be choosers.
I wished I had this when I started my PhD. Life is much easier.
Technorati tags:
fibromyalgia,Google Notebook,PhD research,
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Google unveils new applications - Software - News - ZDNet Asia:
Google unveils new applications - Software - News - ZDNet Asia:
Once upon a time, PhD students (including myself in year) have carry notebooks whereever we go. I carried real paper and pen notebooks and also my laptop with me. It is important, just incase we read something useful, and want to note it down!
How I wished then that there is an easier and less painful (My fingers have rheumatoid arthritis) way of taking note of data!!!
I think Google is answering the prayers of people like us. It is coming up with Google Notebook, just what is needed ! As I have fibromyalgia, it means really a lot to me, as I sometimes have this fibro-fog problem. (you can read about it here)
According to ZD Net:
"Notebook is designed to let people click a 'note this' link in the last line of a particular search result and save the result information to a virtual notebook in a pop-up window.
People can also grab text and pictures from Web sites and paste them into Google Notebook, as well as make the notebook full-screen size, drag and drop items to reorganize them, and e-mail the notebook to others. The program requires a plug-in and a Google account."
Again, typically Google style, it is so easy to use and download. As I am using Firefox already, I just had to click download, and it is installed when I reopen my browser again.
This feature is user friendly, and easy to organise. No more wondering where you chuck that important reference to support your arguments. Of course, you can SEARCH your notebooks and even search all notebooks that are made public. (There is an option whether to make your notebooks public). If google allows you to choose who you would share your notebook with, it would be perfect. Imagine having all the researchers in your lab sharing the notebooks.... progress would be faster, isnt it?
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Once upon a time, PhD students (including myself in year) have carry notebooks whereever we go. I carried real paper and pen notebooks and also my laptop with me. It is important, just incase we read something useful, and want to note it down!
How I wished then that there is an easier and less painful (My fingers have rheumatoid arthritis) way of taking note of data!!!
I think Google is answering the prayers of people like us. It is coming up with Google Notebook, just what is needed ! As I have fibromyalgia, it means really a lot to me, as I sometimes have this fibro-fog problem. (you can read about it here)
According to ZD Net:
"Notebook is designed to let people click a 'note this' link in the last line of a particular search result and save the result information to a virtual notebook in a pop-up window.
People can also grab text and pictures from Web sites and paste them into Google Notebook, as well as make the notebook full-screen size, drag and drop items to reorganize them, and e-mail the notebook to others. The program requires a plug-in and a Google account."
Again, typically Google style, it is so easy to use and download. As I am using Firefox already, I just had to click download, and it is installed when I reopen my browser again.
This feature is user friendly, and easy to organise. No more wondering where you chuck that important reference to support your arguments. Of course, you can SEARCH your notebooks and even search all notebooks that are made public. (There is an option whether to make your notebooks public). If google allows you to choose who you would share your notebook with, it would be perfect. Imagine having all the researchers in your lab sharing the notebooks.... progress would be faster, isnt it?
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Monday, May 15, 2006
Would you spent time helping others graduate?
Will you spend your precious time helping others ?
Yes I will. As much as I can. Unless the person totally irritates me and obviously sponging on my kindness.
Will others help me?
No, not always. I my prolonged PhD studies, I came across people who would want to read your manuscripts, until you tell them to help give you some feedback and typo errors. Then, suddenly they have no time to read your manuscripts.
I feel infuriated whenever I see these people. They just want to take and never receive. Have they forgotten that in the narrow fields that you are threading, you will eventually become colleagues or co -researchers one day?
What kind of significant or obvious advantage to graduate faster than you do in the long run?
Yes I will. As much as I can. Unless the person totally irritates me and obviously sponging on my kindness.
Will others help me?
No, not always. I my prolonged PhD studies, I came across people who would want to read your manuscripts, until you tell them to help give you some feedback and typo errors. Then, suddenly they have no time to read your manuscripts.
I feel infuriated whenever I see these people. They just want to take and never receive. Have they forgotten that in the narrow fields that you are threading, you will eventually become colleagues or co -researchers one day?
What kind of significant or obvious advantage to graduate faster than you do in the long run?
Finally published!
Finally, one of my papers got published. It has been a long time since it was accepted. Finally, there is something to show people. And my list of publications will not read like
(accepted by XYZ)
(submitted)
(submitted)
(in preparation)
Very tired today. Invited my hubby's PhD group over, and now I am paying for the extra energy spent there. However, I hope that it is worthwhile for him.
GOt to do the proof check and send back to them!!! Finally I will read my own paper- coming out in june is a good journal!!!
(accepted by XYZ)
(submitted)
(submitted)
(in preparation)
Very tired today. Invited my hubby's PhD group over, and now I am paying for the extra energy spent there. However, I hope that it is worthwhile for him.
GOt to do the proof check and send back to them!!! Finally I will read my own paper- coming out in june is a good journal!!!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Whatever will be? Post PHD
Que sera sera
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what would I be?
Would I be pretty, would I be rich?
This’s what she said to me
Que sera sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future is not ours to see
Que sera sera.
What will be will be
The irony of the whole thing was I WAS never really very unsure of what the future would hold for me when I was a little girl. I knew I was not the prettiest species in town. And I don’t think I would be rich- too honest to be ever filthy rich.
I knew that I would be successful, I would be happy. I would have a great job, great life. These things seemed so certain then. What would a hardworking and smart girl get? I was really naïve, but I thought the world owes smart, hardworking and good girls like me at least a good job. I did not expect a good husband or something like that, because you just can’t expect to receive true love, no matter how perfect you are!
These day, I am turning into a little girl. The twist is I am now always asking myself what would I be? Despite just chapters away from a PhD, and adding a Dr before my name, I am feeling terribly uncertain. All the plans that I make, no matter how meticulous, always seem to fall through whenever arthritis hits, and the fibromyalgia symptoms trail closely behind.
Just when I seem to obtain all that honest hard work can seem to bring – the ultimate of all degrees – a doctorate, I can’t seem to see a future. I can’t find the picture of me waking up, putting on a nice dress suit and go to work EVERY morning, and work for 10 hours EVERY day. Isn’t this an irony? Instead of looking for high paying, high responsibility, challenging jobs, my eyes are drawn to the part-time job columns, which offers “attractive hourly rates” that “meets minimum wages requirements”!!!
Whatever will be will be. I just got to carve something out of nothing for myself. The future is not for our to see, que sera sera. What will be will be.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what would I be?
Would I be pretty, would I be rich?
This’s what she said to me
Que sera sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future is not ours to see
Que sera sera.
What will be will be
The irony of the whole thing was I WAS never really very unsure of what the future would hold for me when I was a little girl. I knew I was not the prettiest species in town. And I don’t think I would be rich- too honest to be ever filthy rich.
I knew that I would be successful, I would be happy. I would have a great job, great life. These things seemed so certain then. What would a hardworking and smart girl get? I was really naïve, but I thought the world owes smart, hardworking and good girls like me at least a good job. I did not expect a good husband or something like that, because you just can’t expect to receive true love, no matter how perfect you are!
These day, I am turning into a little girl. The twist is I am now always asking myself what would I be? Despite just chapters away from a PhD, and adding a Dr before my name, I am feeling terribly uncertain. All the plans that I make, no matter how meticulous, always seem to fall through whenever arthritis hits, and the fibromyalgia symptoms trail closely behind.
Just when I seem to obtain all that honest hard work can seem to bring – the ultimate of all degrees – a doctorate, I can’t seem to see a future. I can’t find the picture of me waking up, putting on a nice dress suit and go to work EVERY morning, and work for 10 hours EVERY day. Isn’t this an irony? Instead of looking for high paying, high responsibility, challenging jobs, my eyes are drawn to the part-time job columns, which offers “attractive hourly rates” that “meets minimum wages requirements”!!!
Whatever will be will be. I just got to carve something out of nothing for myself. The future is not for our to see, que sera sera. What will be will be.
Friday, May 05, 2006
adding a counter
the obsession with statistics is something that slowly emerges in many candidates involved in any kind of quantitative research work.
I am obviously one of those.
Today I had added a counter to this blog, a free counter from Bravenet!
Also added the software referal from Googles. Googles have been coming up with some really coof stuff, and I have been converted to Googlenity.
I am obviously one of those.
Today I had added a counter to this blog, a free counter from Bravenet!
Also added the software referal from Googles. Googles have been coming up with some really coof stuff, and I have been converted to Googlenity.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
Down time… again
Down time… again
Originally posted in The river is wide blog, on Friday, April 07, 2006
If I were a computer system, I would be considered terrible unreliable, cursed by all who use.
Since yesterday, I am down, again. Perhaps I am paying back for my over enthusiasm, for working on a Sunday. Or is it because I went for a trip last weekend, and did not recharge properly as a result? Is it the beef? That little piece of minced beef in the half-priced lasagne which was on offer on Saturday?
Whatever it is, I am trying to pin-point a reason, looking for a fault. (I have to, because people will ask me WHY I am triggered this time, better have some reason handy..) I even suspect that it was my husband’s terrible snoring and restless legs, which kept waking me up in the past few days. I really suspect that he has restless leg syndrome. Restless leg syndrome is no joke. It had been reported to be associated with sleep apnoea, fibromyalgia or even chronic fatigue syndrome. I won’t be surprised if it is the “next big thing”, in fact, as there are pharmaceutical companies who are actively testing a “cure”.
Hmmm... I am in a sarcastic mood. Suddenly feel like writing about this restless leg syndrome (RLS) thing, or rather the story of the “discovery” of the drug for it. I suspect that in the next two years, you will hear more about it than fibromyalgia (shhhh….insider news say that they are v.v.close to something for RLS), unless they found that pregabalin would work for the “neuropathic pain” (what makes these intelligent people think that it is neuropathic??!!!) of fibromyalgia as well. Hmmm….
Technorati tags:
Drug, fibromyalgia, theses,
Originally posted in The river is wide blog, on Friday, April 07, 2006
If I were a computer system, I would be considered terrible unreliable, cursed by all who use.
Since yesterday, I am down, again. Perhaps I am paying back for my over enthusiasm, for working on a Sunday. Or is it because I went for a trip last weekend, and did not recharge properly as a result? Is it the beef? That little piece of minced beef in the half-priced lasagne which was on offer on Saturday?
Whatever it is, I am trying to pin-point a reason, looking for a fault. (I have to, because people will ask me WHY I am triggered this time, better have some reason handy..) I even suspect that it was my husband’s terrible snoring and restless legs, which kept waking me up in the past few days. I really suspect that he has restless leg syndrome. Restless leg syndrome is no joke. It had been reported to be associated with sleep apnoea, fibromyalgia or even chronic fatigue syndrome. I won’t be surprised if it is the “next big thing”, in fact, as there are pharmaceutical companies who are actively testing a “cure”.
Hmmm... I am in a sarcastic mood. Suddenly feel like writing about this restless leg syndrome (RLS) thing, or rather the story of the “discovery” of the drug for it. I suspect that in the next two years, you will hear more about it than fibromyalgia (shhhh….insider news say that they are v.v.close to something for RLS), unless they found that pregabalin would work for the “neuropathic pain” (what makes these intelligent people think that it is neuropathic??!!!) of fibromyalgia as well. Hmmm….
Technorati tags:
Drug, fibromyalgia, theses,
YOU got think your way out to wealth again!
Friday, April 14, 2006
YOU got think your way out to wealth again!
originally posted on The river is wide...a fibromyalgia story.
I used to view my own humble background with a little bit of self-pride, and never ever saw it as a stumbling block. I have grown up thinking that as poor as you are, you can still live with dignity, your hard work with be eventually rewarded. How naïve I was. That might be still true in many parts of the world, particularly in the academia, and when you are still a student. But if you are working in a competitive industry, you are in for trouble by exposing your weaknesses.
There are good bosses and bad bosses, good colleagues and also those that must have originated from hell. Expose your financial burden and weaknesses, and soon you will find yourself landing those tasks that nobody wants to do. You are chosen because simply, they don’t think you can afford to walk out of the door. Your study loans, mortgage etc etc ties you down. They know that you will be able to take more before calling it quits.
You can say you are poor (but please do in a joking manner), but never say your family is poor. They are seen as your potential supporters! What will they do to a soldier in a battle ground when they know that the general and the battalion is weak? You will not be shown any mercy. And instead of spending time checking the internet to compare prices and see how you can save some pennies; check recruitment agencies, training and business opportunities and things related to your work instead.
The sooner you climb your career ladder, the better off you will be! Those pennies that you save can easily be made in less than hour in your new job or business.
And on the day you submit your thesis, remember; stop thinking how you can save the pennies, and think how you can make more money! Focus on the big issues!
YOU got think your way out to wealth again!
originally posted on The river is wide...a fibromyalgia story.
I used to view my own humble background with a little bit of self-pride, and never ever saw it as a stumbling block. I have grown up thinking that as poor as you are, you can still live with dignity, your hard work with be eventually rewarded. How naïve I was. That might be still true in many parts of the world, particularly in the academia, and when you are still a student. But if you are working in a competitive industry, you are in for trouble by exposing your weaknesses.
There are good bosses and bad bosses, good colleagues and also those that must have originated from hell. Expose your financial burden and weaknesses, and soon you will find yourself landing those tasks that nobody wants to do. You are chosen because simply, they don’t think you can afford to walk out of the door. Your study loans, mortgage etc etc ties you down. They know that you will be able to take more before calling it quits.
You can say you are poor (but please do in a joking manner), but never say your family is poor. They are seen as your potential supporters! What will they do to a soldier in a battle ground when they know that the general and the battalion is weak? You will not be shown any mercy. And instead of spending time checking the internet to compare prices and see how you can save some pennies; check recruitment agencies, training and business opportunities and things related to your work instead.
The sooner you climb your career ladder, the better off you will be! Those pennies that you save can easily be made in less than hour in your new job or business.
And on the day you submit your thesis, remember; stop thinking how you can save the pennies, and think how you can make more money! Focus on the big issues!
Paying for someone to write your thesis. Would you do it?
Friday, April 21, 2006
Paying for someone to write your thesis. Would you do it? Originally posted in The river is wide... blog
My well connected friends are telling that he gets “offers” from some rich undergraduates, offering to pay him $$$ to write-up their assignments.
I am disgusted, really, really disgusted. Some rich students never hand in any single assignment which is their own blood and sweat from day one. The only stuff they write is probably cheques! And these brats go to good schools, and thought of doing post-grads!!! That is an insult to post-graduate education!
Well, perhaps there is some truth in what they say. These rich brats do not need to learn to write, they just need to know how to read. After all, when they graduate, they have millions or even billion worth of business to inherit. All they need to do is read reports submitted by subordinates, and decide whether to approve it or not.
The don’t need to be bothered with writing reports, assignments. And when they do higher degree, they probably will not write their own thesis as well. This thesis writing stuff is fast becoming an industry. Is this the end of real academic education?
Paying for someone to write your thesis. Would you do it? Originally posted in The river is wide... blog
My well connected friends are telling that he gets “offers” from some rich undergraduates, offering to pay him $$$ to write-up their assignments.
I am disgusted, really, really disgusted. Some rich students never hand in any single assignment which is their own blood and sweat from day one. The only stuff they write is probably cheques! And these brats go to good schools, and thought of doing post-grads!!! That is an insult to post-graduate education!
Well, perhaps there is some truth in what they say. These rich brats do not need to learn to write, they just need to know how to read. After all, when they graduate, they have millions or even billion worth of business to inherit. All they need to do is read reports submitted by subordinates, and decide whether to approve it or not.
The don’t need to be bothered with writing reports, assignments. And when they do higher degree, they probably will not write their own thesis as well. This thesis writing stuff is fast becoming an industry. Is this the end of real academic education?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Post PhD--Whatever will be?
Que sera sera
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what would I be?
Would I be pretty, would I be rich?
This’s what she said to me
Que sera sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future is not ours to see
Que sera sera.
What will be. will be
The irony of the whole thing was I WAS never really very unsure of what the future would hold for me when I was a little girl. I knew I was not the prettiest species in town. And I don’t think I would be rich- too honest to be ever filthy rich. Now, I am nearer to the completion of of PhD and I get so uncertain, to an extent that I think psychologically, it is slowing my disertation writing process!
I knew that I would be successful, I would be happy. I would have a great job, great life. These things seemed so certain then. What would a hardworking and smart girl get? I was really naïve, but I thought the world owes smart, hardworking and good girls like me at least a good job. I did not expect a good husband or something like that, because you just can’t expect to receive true love, no matter how perfect you are!
These day, I am turning into a little girl. The twist is I am now always asking myself what would I be? Despite just chapters away from a PhD, and adding a Dr before my name, I am feeling terribly uncertain. All the plans that I make, no matter how meticulous, always seem to fall through whenever arthritis hits, and the fibromyalgia symptoms trail closely behind.
Just when I seem to obtain all that honest hard work can seem to bring – the ultimate of all degrees – a doctorate, I can’t seem to see a future. I can’t find the picture of me waking up, putting on a nice dress suit and go to work EVERY morning, and work for 10 hours EVERY day. Isn’t this an irony? Instead of looking for high paying, high responsibility, challenging jobs, my eyes are drawn to the part-time job columns, which offers “attractive hourly rates” that “meets minimum wages requirements”!!!
Whatever will be will be. I just got to carve something out of nothing for myself. The future is not for our to see, que sera sera. What will be will be.
When I was just a little girl
I asked my mother what would I be?
Would I be pretty, would I be rich?
This’s what she said to me
Que sera sera,
Whatever will be, will be,
The future is not ours to see
Que sera sera.
What will be. will be
The irony of the whole thing was I WAS never really very unsure of what the future would hold for me when I was a little girl. I knew I was not the prettiest species in town. And I don’t think I would be rich- too honest to be ever filthy rich. Now, I am nearer to the completion of of PhD and I get so uncertain, to an extent that I think psychologically, it is slowing my disertation writing process!
I knew that I would be successful, I would be happy. I would have a great job, great life. These things seemed so certain then. What would a hardworking and smart girl get? I was really naïve, but I thought the world owes smart, hardworking and good girls like me at least a good job. I did not expect a good husband or something like that, because you just can’t expect to receive true love, no matter how perfect you are!
These day, I am turning into a little girl. The twist is I am now always asking myself what would I be? Despite just chapters away from a PhD, and adding a Dr before my name, I am feeling terribly uncertain. All the plans that I make, no matter how meticulous, always seem to fall through whenever arthritis hits, and the fibromyalgia symptoms trail closely behind.
Just when I seem to obtain all that honest hard work can seem to bring – the ultimate of all degrees – a doctorate, I can’t seem to see a future. I can’t find the picture of me waking up, putting on a nice dress suit and go to work EVERY morning, and work for 10 hours EVERY day. Isn’t this an irony? Instead of looking for high paying, high responsibility, challenging jobs, my eyes are drawn to the part-time job columns, which offers “attractive hourly rates” that “meets minimum wages requirements”!!!
Whatever will be will be. I just got to carve something out of nothing for myself. The future is not for our to see, que sera sera. What will be will be.
The benefits of a change of environment
The benefits of a change of environment
I MOVED. From one continent to another.
What has changed?
The temperature, the sights and the air that I breathe!
A difference of 30degree C certainly have done great things for me. For one in many many years, I felt full of energy again, full of creative energy and ready to absorb every single pice of word which I read. I certainly hope that this change lasts.
Keeping this blog entry short and sharp is my new way of telling myself no more excuses or busying my self with things that do not really matter. Everything else could wait, till I finish the thesis.
I MOVED. From one continent to another.
What has changed?
The temperature, the sights and the air that I breathe!
A difference of 30degree C certainly have done great things for me. For one in many many years, I felt full of energy again, full of creative energy and ready to absorb every single pice of word which I read. I certainly hope that this change lasts.
Keeping this blog entry short and sharp is my new way of telling myself no more excuses or busying my self with things that do not really matter. Everything else could wait, till I finish the thesis.
Adverts in a PhD blog- what they say about us
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Adverts in a PhD blog- what they say about us
There seems to be another advantage of blogging.
You can monetize it. I am copying these little buttons from Google to my page.
Hope it works.Yeah ABDs tend to have their funds at the lowest level, and any extra cents of income generated somewhere would help.
p/s : I took a good look at the types of advertisements generated. Interesting. They tell a lot about our life as a PhD student.
The types of adverts are (generally)
1. Services offering to write your dissertation/proposal for you… hmmm $17/page.. that is an awful lot of money. I wonder if they are as good as they claim. If they are so good, why writing for others? Should have been in some academic/research/industry position- all of which are in credibly busy.
2. Services to help you write something so that you get into a grad school!! I wonder what they are offering; to bad I cannot click these ads. But I should say if you need help to get in, you should probably check out service no 1) (the 17 bucks/page service)- you are gonna need help to get out.
3. Financial help ..Geez….. PhD students= brokes
4. Some anti-depression help.. PhD students easily depressed?? Why would they tag such a keyword to their product? We need them?
5. Some blogging sites, offering free blogs.
Adverts in a PhD blog- what they say about us
There seems to be another advantage of blogging.
You can monetize it. I am copying these little buttons from Google to my page.
Hope it works.Yeah ABDs tend to have their funds at the lowest level, and any extra cents of income generated somewhere would help.
p/s : I took a good look at the types of advertisements generated. Interesting. They tell a lot about our life as a PhD student.
The types of adverts are (generally)
1. Services offering to write your dissertation/proposal for you… hmmm $17/page.. that is an awful lot of money. I wonder if they are as good as they claim. If they are so good, why writing for others? Should have been in some academic/research/industry position- all of which are in credibly busy.
2. Services to help you write something so that you get into a grad school!! I wonder what they are offering; to bad I cannot click these ads. But I should say if you need help to get in, you should probably check out service no 1) (the 17 bucks/page service)- you are gonna need help to get out.
3. Financial help ..Geez….. PhD students= brokes
4. Some anti-depression help.. PhD students easily depressed?? Why would they tag such a keyword to their product? We need them?
5. Some blogging sites, offering free blogs.
Racing against time-first draft
Monday, March 20, 2006
Racing against time-first draft
I have 72 days more to go to my targeted submission. That sounds like many days and a lot of time, but it isn’t.
Firstly, there is something called waiting time. You got to wait while your supervisors find time to read your draft and give you the feedback. There is no use rushing them. If they rush through your paper, they often end up missing lots of impt issues that need to be clarified.
Then there is another thing called down time. For someone with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia/chronic myofascial pain, our ability to function well is as predictable as the British weather. Once down, it could really take some time to pick yourself up again. For me I just keep on repeating this fact “Research shows that RA patients with high score in Learned Helplessness Scale (what a name!) have poorer quality of life.” I tell myself before I sleep, when I am lying on bed, when I am miserable. I know that I have to remind myself not to go down that path.
And lastly, this is the most pleasurable past-time: wasting time. Activities include blogging and checking whether I had earned a few cents from someone clicking the ads on this page. I could do this so many times a day that I know I am on the borderline of neurosis. I know well that I had told no one of this blog, so there can’t be visitors apart from the random blog jumper.
Racing against time-first draft
I have 72 days more to go to my targeted submission. That sounds like many days and a lot of time, but it isn’t.
Firstly, there is something called waiting time. You got to wait while your supervisors find time to read your draft and give you the feedback. There is no use rushing them. If they rush through your paper, they often end up missing lots of impt issues that need to be clarified.
Then there is another thing called down time. For someone with rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia/chronic myofascial pain, our ability to function well is as predictable as the British weather. Once down, it could really take some time to pick yourself up again. For me I just keep on repeating this fact “Research shows that RA patients with high score in Learned Helplessness Scale (what a name!) have poorer quality of life.” I tell myself before I sleep, when I am lying on bed, when I am miserable. I know that I have to remind myself not to go down that path.
And lastly, this is the most pleasurable past-time: wasting time. Activities include blogging and checking whether I had earned a few cents from someone clicking the ads on this page. I could do this so many times a day that I know I am on the borderline of neurosis. I know well that I had told no one of this blog, so there can’t be visitors apart from the random blog jumper.
Is this the last episode of me?
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Is this the concluding episode of me?
“….to everyone’s surprise, the most promising girl in class was not able to complete her PhD. No one really knew the reason, although there were rumours of her physical and mental health. Cynics pointed out she had always spent less time than her classmates studying and infamous for dozing off in class. Perhaps it is this type of laid back attitude (laziness) which made her unable to make the cut for the really rigorous work required for PhD studies. No one knows what she is doing now, and rumours claim that she can’t hold down any job. Her supporters pointed out that she has always been the determined type of person. Her past victories including taking exams despite not able to sit down after a back injury, and supported herself and her family through a host of part-time jobs and scholarships. May be this time she just can’t cope anymore.”
Is this the concluding episode of me?
“….to everyone’s surprise, the most promising girl in class was not able to complete her PhD. No one really knew the reason, although there were rumours of her physical and mental health. Cynics pointed out she had always spent less time than her classmates studying and infamous for dozing off in class. Perhaps it is this type of laid back attitude (laziness) which made her unable to make the cut for the really rigorous work required for PhD studies. No one knows what she is doing now, and rumours claim that she can’t hold down any job. Her supporters pointed out that she has always been the determined type of person. Her past victories including taking exams despite not able to sit down after a back injury, and supported herself and her family through a host of part-time jobs and scholarships. May be this time she just can’t cope anymore.”
Pressing on with my thesis writing
Friday, April 21, 2006
(A previous post from The river is wide... blog)
Just keep those fingers moving, and moving. Write and write on! I am trying my best, as the pressure on me finish up that thesis writing business is mounting. Another day pass by, another notch my pressure barometer shoots up.
I am fighting pains all over me. At this point, as I am spouting nonsense here in my blog…my shoulders are killing me, I am having this tension headache. And my fingers are struggling to push on. My wrists are in pain.
But I don’t care! I must, I must get my PhD, and I am refusing to cut any corners about it.
The river is wide, but I must still press on with my thesis writing.
(A previous post from The river is wide... blog)
Just keep those fingers moving, and moving. Write and write on! I am trying my best, as the pressure on me finish up that thesis writing business is mounting. Another day pass by, another notch my pressure barometer shoots up.
I am fighting pains all over me. At this point, as I am spouting nonsense here in my blog…my shoulders are killing me, I am having this tension headache. And my fingers are struggling to push on. My wrists are in pain.
But I don’t care! I must, I must get my PhD, and I am refusing to cut any corners about it.
The river is wide, but I must still press on with my thesis writing.
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